I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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