Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
