the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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