well you can't waste a boner
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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