i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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