I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
