How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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