Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize