currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Randomize
