I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
