some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize