then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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