I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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