i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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