I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Randomize
