Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Having a random hookup so left but love u
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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