There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Randomize
