we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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