I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
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