I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I'm getting married
To pizza
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
