Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
