playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
