your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
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