used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
