if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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