ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
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