her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I am mentally ready for anal.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
