you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
