It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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