operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
