those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
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