Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
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