Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
