It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
