covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
