we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
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