no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
