I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
