i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Randomize
