I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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