There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
