I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
