Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Dick very happy bro
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
