At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
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