so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Randomize