Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
He has the fingertips of a God
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
