I'm lost and stupid without you.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
