Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
