I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Randomize
