Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
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