i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
