ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
this boner is exhausting
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I checked into jail on foursquare
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
