these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
