i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
ttyl tear gas
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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