No awkward lesbian experiences without me
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
