Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
