You work out of a Hotel?
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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