You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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