I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize
