I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
