I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
