Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
