also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
It's never too late to be topless.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
