I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
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